"Love Is...": Watching Rom-Coms with the Church

I hate admitting this, but you have been so kind to read my blog. Yeah, I watch chick flicks. Sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I prefer other genres. But every now and then, I'll catch myself watching "Just Friends" or "(500) Days of Summer" on Netflix. So maybe I'm more of a romantic comedy guy. My ACE roommates will tell you that I would often sit in the living room pretending to do my schoolwork while Mary, Lindsey, LeAnn, and Alyssa laughed (and cried) while watching "The Vow."  I didn't. I promise.

(Bravissimo)

Before you take my man card, let me explain myself. What is the appeal of these movies? As men and women, we are made from and for love. Created in the image and likeness of Love Incarnate, we can be certain that where love is, there also is the Lord. Seminarian disclaimer: there are indeed false understandings of love in a lot of these movies. Now that is off my chest, I can confidently say that the sappiest lines in these chick flicks reveal a greater truth. Through all the hijinks and missteps throughout the movies, the part that we really tune in for is the moment when one of the characters romantically, eloquently, awkwardly, and truly reveals his/her love for the other. Some examples:

• "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally

• "The fame thing isn't really real, you know. And don't forget, I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." Notting Hill

• "I love you. You complete me. And I just..." "Shut up, just shut up. You had me at 'hello.'" Jerry Maguire 

• "Our love is like the wind: I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it." A Walk to Remember

• "Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever… And you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you." Meet Joe Black

There is something historical, even Christian about these lines like these. No, I'm serious. Here, look:  

• "And what is a kiss, specifically? A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste, a vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip, a rosy circle drawn around the verb 'to love.' A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear, infinity captured in the bee's brief visit to a flower, secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven, the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover's lip: 'Forever.'"  Cyrano de Bergerac

• "Come what sorrow can, it can not countervail the exchange the joy, that one short minute gives me in her sight." Romeo and Juliet

• "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

• "Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You called, you shouted and you shattered my deafness." St. Augustine

Could you imagine the camera slowly zooming into Augustine's tearful face as he stands on a foggy train platform in front of a blonde (also crying) and says, "...and you shattered my deafness"? I can! Only...he was saying this to Jesus, who's unfathomable and inescapable love turned a sinner into a saint. We watch the movies and swoon over these lines because they appeal to our nature. They reflect our desire to love and be loved.

(An accurate summary of how St. Theresa of Avila felt about Christ )

I have mentioned the marital language used to describe a relationship between a priest and the Church. The seminary is a time for me to date the Bride of Christ. The beginning of a relationship is always thrilling. You meet someone special and, all of a sudden, you are willing to make just about any sort of excuse to spend time with her. I don't particularly enjoy coffee, rom-coms, and reading twenty text messages a day. Yet its funny how quickly I forget this when I start dating someone. 

Beginning seminary has been similar to the start of a relationship. Its exciting, awkward, and a little nerve-racking. This must mean that I have found someone special. My first dates with the Church have included waking up very (VERY) early in the morning to read the Word of God and attend Mass, adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, spending time at Her House with Her Mother (aka praying the Rosary in the chapel), listening to Her beautiful and liberating teachings, and talking to Her about EVERYTHING in the Sacrament of Confession (if you haven't gone to Reconciliation in a while, just go!).

Here is my point: there is a Christian connection between the genuine expressions of love quoted in chick flicks, the "butterfly-in-the-stomach" feeling we get when we begin a relationship with someone special, and love of Christ that surrounds us. Jesus' love for us is scandalous. What does that mean? I don't mean scandalous in a bad way. His love is so deep and complete that it overwhelms us. It offends our sensibilities that someone so perfect could love someone so imperfect. In short, we don't deserve it, but it is given to us anyway. Without reservation. It is scandalous that an image like this is appropriate for our churches and homes:

(Ecce, Agnus Dei)

Look at it for a second. That is a lamb. A cute lamb. Bleeding...into a cup? This is the scandal that I am talking about. Its almost cheesy, like one of those movie lines, right? Jesus loves us so much that He offers His very Body and Blood to us in the Holy Eucharist. He so desires to be with us that He scandalously allows us to literally consume Him.

I am falling in love with Christ right now. Am I positive that I am called to be a priest? No. While I am discerning the priesthood, I am also listening carefully to see if Jesus wants me to be a husband and father. That is what this process is all about. The refinement that is taking place within me leads to a win-win situation. I believe God has blessed me with gifts to be good at either vocation. God will make it clearer as I deepen my relationship with Him. If I make my prayers as romantic as the lines from chick flicks, if I make excuses to spend as much time with Him as I possibly can, then I will be molded into a better father, regardless of whether I am a priest or husband. Undoubtedly. 

(Fashioning my heart after His)

On the topic of dates, check out my brother Tom's blog: http://thomasrkelly13.weebly.com/blog.html

Tom took the Brothers and Sisters Kelly on "dates" this past week. He leaves for South Sudan this weekend. Tom will be spreading the Gospel by teaching with the Salesian Lay Missionaries for two years. I will miss him, but I am incredibly proud of my best friend. Please pray for him.